sulat-kamay

Turn Off the Lights Please.

2010-02-03T12:36:00.000-08:00

untitled

2010-02-02T12:52:00.000-08:00

I am mindless as I cum–

a supernova, headlight-sized–

a moth rising, wings aflame–

the body blinded by white noise–

soul the arch of abdomen–

the tremolo of muscle–

eternity forever ocean–

a glaze of eyes forever sea–

I am mindful as I cool–

a peregrine, my hunter’s shell–

night flowers, my perfume–

and here I rage in calm–

the churn of beauty–

is not truth, but love.

Mi Confession by Gotan Project

2010-02-01T13:04:00.000-08:00

after that short moment, we bade goodbye to each other and separated ways. that was the first time and will probably be the only time that I'd write a letter of confession to somebody (embarrassing, really). I didn't want to lose him but his gestures told me it wasn't me whom he likes. it didn't take me much time to realize that though.

I walked home thinking, hoping, and at the same time unsuccessfully trying to move on from what i thought was something that's impossible to happen - a usual daydream which'd never ever be actualized in my living memory.

I didn't know how i felt or what to feel at that very moment during my isolation. Should i feel happy for being relieved? Should i feel sad because I have somewhat envisaged the final chapter of the book? Should i be mad at him for remaining quiet and keeping the answer to himself? I don't know.

I hadn't (or should i say, wasn't able to) sleep that night spending time thinking about what'd meet me in the succeeding sunrises.

In order to outrun awkwardness, i wrote in the letter a sort of condition so he need not to express himself much to me since i am perfectly knowledgeable that he's not an overly expressive individual. In this condition lies only 2 things for him to air out his single decision - by giving me the paper folded, it'd mean he treats me more than a friend, otherwise, if crumpled, it'd mean he thinks friendship is best for both of us. I also told him maybe i got this sort of crazy idea from excessive television viewing. I don't know what struck me but even before he could come up with a decision ---

I told him to give me back the letter I'd given him so I could burn it together with my memory of having given it to him - but until now he's keeping it. He said there'd come a time when he'll be passing it back to me.

I thought, maybe, that'd be the time when he's courageous enough to break my broken heart. Pathetic.

SIESTA - GRAVITY

2010-02-01T11:40:00.000-08:00

Something always brings me back to you
It never takes too long
No matter what I say or do
I still feel you here 'til the moment I'm gone

You hold me without touch
You keep me without chains
I never wanted anything so much
Than to drown in your love and not feel your rain

Set me free, leave me be
I don't wanna fall another moment into your gravity
Here I am and I stand so tall
I'm just the way I'm supposed to be
But you're on to me and all over me

You loved me 'cause I'm fragile
When I thought that I was strong
But you touch me for a little while
And all my fragile strength is gone

Set me free, leave me be
I don't wanna fall another moment into your gravity
Here I am and I stand so tall
I'm just the way I'm supposed to be
But you're on to me and all over me

I live here on my knees
As I try to make you see
That you're everything I think I need
Here on the ground

But you're neither friend nor foe
Though I can't seem to let you go
The one thing that I still know
Is that you're keeping me down
You're keeping me down

You're on to me, on to me and all over
Something always brings me back to you
It never takes too long

Ani me

2010-02-01T11:20:00.000-08:00

isang hapong walang magawa.

(top: me, center: jonathan, below: the villainous junrey, lol)

retrospecting.

2010-01-31T12:09:00.000-08:00

hanggang ngayon walang kupas ang kilig na nararamdaman ko. akala nyo kayo lang ang may karapatan ha! hahaha.

*miss you much jon. echos :-)

2010-01-30T21:58:00.000-08:00

hanggang ngayon di pa naibaul ang krismas decos namin. nakasabit pa rin all over the house. haha

LEVEL 28

2010-01-30T20:02:00.000-08:00

naglalaro ka rin ba nito? - if not, then let me introduce to you facebook's NINJA SAGA. of all games sa facebook, dito siguro ako naadik ng pinakamatagal. hindi naman kataka-taka kasi masaya talaga yung game ,PROMISE (kris aquino tone). pra sakin, it's like playing OL games like tantra, ragnarok etc. ganun. it gives the same fulfillment - hindi nga lang kung ang pagbabasehan ay yung graphics ng game - *obviously*. pero msya tlga - simula ay pipili ka ng element na ip-practice mo tpos go ka na agad sa missions. as you go along with the missions -mraming interesting happenings ang mae-encounter mo not to mention yung mga interesting features nung game (bsta discover by yourself na lang).

simula bata pa kasi mahilig na tlga akong maglaro ng mga video games. probably because i'm so in love with the idea of having special powers. hehe. i'm sure hindi lang ako, kundi lahat tayo may desire na special ability na magagamit natin to solve our problems easily. siguro kung magsu-survey ako, i'd bet ang ability cguro na may pinakamataas na stat ay sa time travelling. say nyo?

(at wag kayong magexpect na may time travel jutsu sa ninja saga - lol)

no strings attached

2010-01-30T11:50:00.000-08:00

wag na kayong magtanong kung sino tong nasa larawan - long story (at hindi ako magaling mag-summarize)(eto na lang- espesyal siya pra sakin dahil isa yan sa mga naging inspirasyon ko sa *refer to the next few sentences*).

anyway, dala na cguro ng ubod na umay ng mga pabalik-balik na pangyayari sa aking pangaraw-araw na buhay ay nakapagisip ako ng bagay na gagawin- para naman magkaron ng kwenta ang aking pagtambay. at yun ay ang *PAG GI GITARA* tumpak!. sa pamilya namin, parang ako na lang kasi ang natitirang hindi marunong tumugtog ng gitara (kahit nga yung kapatid ko'ng bakla eh marunong na din). at isa lang ang masasabi ko - nakaka kalyo tlga xa mga kaibigan. yeah kalyo as in callus LOL. buti na lang at magaling magturo ang dalawa kong mga nakababatang kapatid (boy at girl) kaya madali ko lang din nalaman kung pano yung basics. 2 piyesa na ang alam kong tugtugin - yung songs na THUNDER tska HAWAK KAMAY. haha. oo yan ang dalawa sa mga pinakamadadaling tugtugin gamit ang gitara. learning much ako ngayon sa LUCKY. *some people happen to know why*

BREAK MUNA

2010-01-30T06:48:00.000-08:00

Shawty´s like a melody in my head
That I can´t keep out
Got me singin´ like

Na na na na everyday
It´s like my iPod stuck on replay replay-ay-ay-ay (2x)

Remember the first time we met
You was at the mall wit yo friend
I was scared to approach ya
But then you came closer
Hopin´ you would give me a chance

Who would have ever knew
That we would ever be more than friends
We´re real worldwide breakin all the rules
She like a song played again and again

That girl like somethin off a poster
That girl is a dime they say
That girl is a gun to my holster
She´s runnin through my mind all day ay

Shawty´s like a melody in my head
That I can´t keep out
Got me singin´ like
Na na na na everyday
It´s like my iPod stuck on replay replay-ay-ay-ay (2x)

See you been all around the globe
Not once did you leave my mind
We talk on the phone from night til the morn
Girl you really change my life
Doin things I never do
I´m in the kitchen cookin things she likes

We´re real worldwide breakin all the rules
Someday I wanna make you my wife
That girl like somethin off a poster
That girl is a dime they say
That girl is the gun to my holster
She´s runnin through my mind all day ay

Shawty´s like a melody in my head
That I can´t keep out
Got me singin´ like
Na na na na everyday
It´s like my iPod stuck on replay replay-ay-ay-ay (2x)

I can be your melody
Oh, girl I could write you a symphony
The one that could fill your fantasies
So come baby girl let´s sing with me
Ay I can be your melody
Oh, girl I could write you a symphony
The one that could fill your fantasies
So come baby girl let´s sing with me

Ay na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na
Shawty got me singin
Na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na
Now she got me singin

Shawty´s like a melody in my head
That I can´t keep out
Got me singin´ like
Na na na na everyday
It´s like my iPod stuck on replay replay-ay-ay-ay (2x)

Past-time

2010-01-30T05:07:00.000-08:00

opo, past-time ko po ang pagguguhit. this one (above) ay isa sa mga naiguhit ko last week. may pag-aalayan sana ako nito, pero ewan ko lang, ewan ko lang talaga kung ibibigay ko pa to sa kanya (not that i lost the want to give it). draft lang yan sa sana'y gagawin ko kaya naka-ballpen lang (pasensya naman). ewan ko lang kung obvious ba yang dalawang lalake sa nyiknyur pero yan ang gusto kong ginagawa namin *with nung pagbibigyan ko sana*- to simply sit na magkatabi (ang babaw no? hehe). pero ganun ako eh, i'm usually contented with small things or daily happenings na aakaalain mo'ng lumalagpas lang sakin ng basta2x pero hindi naman pala.

siguro ngayon hindi ko pa kayang gawin ang painting pero in the near future, i hope na mainspire ako to make it. hindi ko rin siguro gagawin para ibigay ngayong february 14 kasi alam kong may iba pa namang magbibigay sa kanya ng ibang regalo. though most probably, sa february ko pa din ibibigay - palalagpasin ko lang ang valentine's.

P.S. (pakapin sulti)

ang tinutukoy ko po ay hindi ang espiya ng buhay ko *just to clear things out* (refer to my previous post)

(^_^)

revelation 1:1

2010-01-29T12:23:00.000-08:00

familiar? *TUMPAK* siya yung nasa profile pic ko sa facebook about a month ago na din. malamang nagtaka kayo kung sino siya no? kasi, kung hindi kayo nagtaka, it's either (like beans, inisip nyo rin na ako to) OR sajang wala kayong pakialam sakin. haha. siya ang espiya ng buhay ko. of course, i cant tell his name here- magaling din siya sa computer kaya mahirap na. haha. *kung bakit espiya* ay sa amin nlng yun. hehe. anyway, hindi ko naman siguro siya ilalagay sa profile pic ko diba kung wala syang halaga sa buhay ko? he's definitely one of the most adorable people i've met in my living memory. for a short time, naipakita nya sakin na wlang imposible sa pagmamahal (or so i thought, pok) - kasi nga 'straight daw sya'. Have you seen Love of Siam? oo, parang ganun ang eksena namin (o diba). Kaso nga lang, we never got as intimate as Tong and Mew have. sayang nga eh, because he was really serious with me. nalaman ko yan kasi siguro dahil kadalasan pag kumakain kming dalawa, sya yung nagbabayad. syempre hinahayaan ko sya no (ayokong putulin ang longhair ko) hahahah. I owe to him a few the best memories in my life. unfortunately, hindi gaanong masaya ang ending ng Love of Siam eh. kya ayun.

[obvious na obvious ba'ng i am dedicating this post to you?]

P.S. (pakapin sulti)

natutulog siya the moment i stole this shot mtpos malasing the previous night. (wala lang gusto ko lang ipangalandakan - may angal?)

avatar-ish

2010-01-29T10:33:00.000-08:00

aba akala nyo cguro sa facebook lang may ganito no? lol. (shempre nakuha ko 'to dun). ewan ko ba pero parang tuwang tuwa ako sa tuwing may ngeeffort sa bansang pilipinas na laitin ang 'tinitingala' kuno ng karamihan na si manny pacquiao. i can give you a hundred reasons why i dont like him. haha. nakakatuwa lang tong picture pagkakita ko kasi prang nanotice ko- kulay lang ang naiba dun sa unedited nyang mukha (hahaha). naisip ko lang pwede lng din naman plang iedit yung mukha nya sa adobe with 2 easy steps. una, tint ka ng color blue tpos i-fill mo dun sa mukha nya. hahahahah. magalit na kung sinong gustong magalit - ang tamaan ay katulad nyang pangit! (hahahaha) JOKE!

isang malaking APIR(cut) pra sayo manny!

SA UNANG PAGKAKATAON

2010-01-29T09:55:00.000-08:00

ay hindi, mali yang iniisip nyo. hindi ito ang unang pagkakataon na nagkaroon ako ng blog. actually, this blog has been made ages ago pa.tapos, abandoned for a while kasi nga naging busy blah blah blah. ive come up (obviously,) to a decision na balikan ang blogging moments ko kasi mashado lang talaga akong bored (oo yun lang, wag na kayong mghanap ng iba pang rason).
Anyway, kahit papano naman, may first time pa din naman ako sa blogging no - tulad ngayon, ito ang first time kong bumalik sa blogging. isang beses ko pa lang din kasing naabandon ang blogging (pok!). tska first time ko ding sumulat sa blog in tagalog. Madalas kasi, english ang gamit ko. you know naman. lol. biruin nyo, sa sangkatutak na errors ko sa grammar eh english yung blog ko no'n. haha.
ito pa lang ang una kong post. syempre wla pang kwenta. pero abangan nyo ang mga susunod na kabanata. malay mo - ikaw yung i feature ko (oo ikaw!) !

sulat-kamay

Turn Off the Lights Please.

untitled

Mi Confession by Gotan Project

SIESTA - GRAVITY

Ani me

retrospecting.

Ad

LEVEL 28

no strings attached

BREAK MUNA

Past-time

revelation 1:1

avatar-ish

SA UNANG PAGKAKATAON